“I offered the baby to my aunt, but after thinking about it she declined to take the baby because, in her words, ‘Your mom will never let the baby be mine.’”īerry offered her baby to a second cousin who had adopted two children internationally. Perhaps her mother’s sister, who had been trying with fertility treatments to get pregnant again and wanted a baby girl. She really wanted to place her child with a family member. She felt it was too much like a baby business, that they were interested in making money off her baby. She spoke with an adoption agency but rejected that idea. She would give her baby to someone else – someone who had the means to care for her. Those thoughts led to the most painful moment in Berry’s young life. “All my thoughts were about how I couldn’t take care of this child,” she said, “and that someone else would do a better job than me.” Getting pregnant had not been by choice, but then she was forced to make a far more important one. She could not see how she could claw her way out of poverty, especially with another child. How would she buy food, diapers, clothes for her children? The public assistance she received came nowhere close to covering her expenses. Her second child’s father had also taken off. Hailey’s father denied paternity and abandoned Berry during her first pregnancy. She worked occasionally at day care centers to get discounted rates for Hailey. A second child? Now?Ī high school dropout with a GED, she’d managed to enroll in classes at DeKalb College. ![]() She and her 6-month-old daughter Hailey were living – no, surviving – in a room at her mom’s house in Atlanta. She was 20 and broke with one baby already when she found out she was pregnant. How would she ever be able to care for her unborn daughter?Įvery time Patti Berry is pregnant - she's due again in February - she remembers her most difficult decision. She had made a most difficult decision, one borne from the desperation and darkness before her. She knew she’d live with a hollowness in her heart. It wasn’t like getting another car or a house. At least she had another daughter at home.īut Berry knew a child could never be replaced. Berry’s baby was gone with them to begin a life without her.Ī nurse told Berry not to despair. Berry just got her another bottle.Īnd then the couple was gone. The last time Berry held her, the baby was crying. Berry tried not to cradle the baby in her arms. She let the woman cut the umbilical cord. ![]() It was the only way she could carry out the decision she’d made. She forced herself into denial about what she was about to do. They called her throughout the pregnancy. The couple even accompanied Berry to her doctor’s appointments. Instead, she referred to it as their child. If she did, then it would become her child. She erected mental boundaries that would soften the blow, like not naming the baby in her womb. She’s given birth four times since that day and is due again in February.īack then, she spent months preparing for the outcome of her decision. It’s been painful, especially at times when she has been pregnant. Sometimes, Patti Berry shuts the door to her bathroom, thinks about a pivotal moment 15 years ago and cries for hours. And take a minute to wonder: What might 2014 have in store?Ī permanent solution to a temporary problem Read their stories and consider moments – big and small – that have changed you. A woman hears from the dead and discovers her calling.Īs the new year approaches, meet five people whose lives changed course in a crucial moment. ![]() A man stumbles on wads of cash and must make a choice. An executive takes a leap and finds laughter. A teenager facing prison learns to breathe. We learn who we are and what we’re capable of doing.Ī mother parts with her newborn. One decision, one twist or one unexpected encounter can shape a lifetime. ![]() Change, for any of us, can happen in an instant.
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